Some time ago, I read a post describing how to run a serverless Kotlin function on OpenFaaS. While the content is technically correct, I believe the concept itself is very wrong. Such posts can lead people to make ill-advised decisions: 'because we can' is hardly a winning strategy. in this post, I’d like to first explain why the JVM platform is a bad idea for FaaS. Then, I’ll proceed to propose alternatives to use Kotlin nonetheless.